Inches

I just posted the best half time speech of all time in my “of the days” section, if anyone is interested. Sorry about the language, but I had to post it anyway…you’ll see why.

 

Life is…

Life is like accidentally dropping a toaster in your bathtub and then realizing, while you’re being electrocuted, that on the other side of this pain, you’re going to be stronger, wiser, and much more qualified to help other people who drop toasters in their bathtubs.

 

 

Spoons are funnier than Forks

Some words are inherently funnier than other words. Goats, for example…

• Goats are funnier than Sheep
• French toast is funnier than Pancakes
• Underpants are way funnier than Underwear
• Spoons are funnier than Forks
• Al Gore is funnier than John Kerry…but Bob Dole is funnier than both

You know I’m right…but why? I just remembered a really good website: www.inherentlyfunny.com

Go there to learn more…

 

 

Who nose?

Here’s a fun game: Ask someone if they smell something funny (like a gas leak) …and then watch them get really serious and start sniffing around the room like a hound dog.

 

New Tolkien

I don’t know if everyone in Middle Earth has heard yet, but JRR Tolkien is dropping a new book on April 17th!

…well posthumously anyway.  

It’s called “The Children of Hurin” and has been in the process of completion by his son for thirty years. JRR started the book in 1918 but didn’t live long enough to finish it.

http://www.tolkiensociety.org/

 

bassackwards

I was reading in the gospels last night and I’m constantly shocked at how backwards the Kingdom of God is compared to the way this world works. If you want to receive, give. If you want to be honored, humble yourself. Love your enemies. Turn the other cheek. Blessed are the poor. To find your life, lose your life. The list goes on and on…

It reminds me of a quote by G.K. Chesterson. He said that “a saint is one who exaggerates what the world neglects.” So I made a list of the types of people that the world neglects…

the ugly
the poor
the abused
the lonely
the sick
the fat
the hungry
the old
the weak
the disabled
the depressed
the addicted
the confused
the abandoned
the loosers
the broken

Flip this list and you’ll have the world’s idea of a perfect person. The world says blessed are the fixed but God says blessed are the broken. In other words, blessed are those who are in a position to know that they need a Savior.

anyway…

 

where does he come up with this stuff?

This is my favorite commercial of the moment. From now on I only stay at Embassy Suites…

 

rain out

It’s raining in St. Louis. And I was supposed to golf today.